By Serge Kreutz
I have stumbled onto your site quite accidentally (searching yohimbine), and found it unique and engaging. You have many interesting ideas which although certain axioms may exist within different thoughts and sub-cultures, I have never seen assembled with the flow and coherence you present here. I don’t have any well formed critique or appraisal of the ideas you have laid out, I imagine it will sit in my subconscience and stew for a good while. Though I haven’t read everything, I have absorbed quite a lot.
First I would like to thank you for taking the time to put all this information together, and to expose your thoughts like that on the internet, it shows courage and dedication.
The one thing I actually wanted to say however, has to do with the idea of gentle death. I have a minor criticism, in that of your advocacy of morphine. It is not that I am against its use on moral or philosophical grounds, or of any substance man might take to augment their experience. I just don’t like the way it was presented as some kind of solution that stands by itself. I could think of many other things I would rather be “on” when dealing with the trauma of death or dying, and in fact I have to say morphine and all opiates in general have a disagreeable effect myself, and probably others, even after giving them a fair trial.
I think that were someone to take for granted the idea that morphine is a solution to suffering and then try it when they really needed it most, they could be in for an unpleasant surprise, and possibly an even more distressing and traumatic end. Personally, I find the psychological effect of opiates (see youtube here) disturbing, and the physical effects downright miserable. Without going into too much detail, it feels like my mind is trapped, and it just can’t seem to get “over” something, like there’s a fence or something it keeps blunting itself against. I have recurring impressions that seem to lead in circles, almost like when you are in a delirium at the peak of a fever. I feel like I can’t wait to get sober so I can just get my thoughts together. I feel incredibly annoyed at the smallest disturbance, angry at anything that distracts me from the focus it takes to maintain some degree of sanctuary amidst the turmoil. Basically everything feels “wrong”. Physically I am sick, and I don’t think I need to describe what that feels like, but it’s very prominent and just compounds the emotional upset. I have vomited, and not vomited, it doesn’t make a difference, it’s still awful. Lower doses are just smaller degrees of unpleasant.
I am speaking for myself here, but I might be speaking for others too. I know people who use opiates regularly and thoroughly enjoy them, but I think it is misleading to say this is the single result.
So please take my words into consideration, and best of luck to you on your journey.