Problems with the female orgasm
By Serge Kreutz
This is a problem mostly for men in Western societies who cannot bring their female partners to a climax. It’s not a problem for women, especially not in traditional societies. Girls find this out by themselves, just as boys do. But girls and women in most societies kniw better than to discuss this with anybody, as female sexual market value typucally depends on knowing as little as possible about sex.
On the other hand, in Western societies, knowledge about the female orgasm raises the sexual market value of men.
To start with, men have to be aware of the fact that the female orgasm is more complex, and more complicated, than the male orgasm.
For many men,especially younger men,orgasms are a simple, and in some cases even a primitive, affair. Give them a female body to play with, and they will ejaculate. A new body to play with often works better than one that the man already is familiar with.
There are no complicated requirements that can be categorized as love.
Many men don’t even understand that for most women, love is coupled to their sexual experience. These men think that women put request a love relationship before they grant a man, and themselves, access to sexual enjoyment, as a kind of pay-off (show your commitment and I let you have it).
But for most women, love is part of the sexual excitement, not something the request parallel to it.
I believe that I have a fairly good understanding of the female pattern of sexual arousal because I am one of those men to which it also applies.
I have never had much interest in casual sex: sex with women I have just met, or with women who are not attractive enough so that I could imagine them as a steady girlfriend. And most definitely, I have never had any sexual interest in prostitutes.
On the other hand, I (like many women but rather few men) am susceptible to the sexual thrill of just holding hands and whispering “I love you”, or, even better, “I love you forever”. It doesn’t matter that, rationally’, I know that it won’t be. But at the moment, such sentences are uttered, they can, for me, as for many women, have a high sexual arousal value.
Men who fail to bring their female partners to an orgasm usually have a too narrow idea of orgasm. They may see it too specifically as a plainly physical event, and often underestimate psychological preparatory components.
This does not mean that there wouldn’t be necessary physical components (larger penises are usually better than smaller ones), and some love-making techniques that are better than others. However, large male genitals and a fine technique, combined with good stamina, are often not enough for the optimale female sexual experience. Some psychological, often romantic, component often is also required.
The following aspects are important:
1. The best love-making techniques for the male partner (for the purpose of bringing his female partner to a climax).
2. The best love-making behavior for women who have in mind primarily their own orgasm.
3. Measures a man can undertake to improve his capability of bringing his female partner to an orgasm.
4. Pharmacological intervention to lower a woman’s orgasmic threshold.
5. Psychological instruments that improve a woman’s orgasmic potential in specific situations.
Which of the above is best appplicable depends on the woman, and on the mistakes men are making, and on the specific case.
Just one thing is certain: if both do it right, every woman can experience genuine orgasms during love-making with a man.