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Do you need love?

By Serge Kreutz

I am talking from man to man here.

And I do not mean: Do you need sex? Because you can have a lot of sex without you loving her, and without her loving you.

But let’s clarify first what we are talking about. Love isn’t well defined. I would say that love has to be a strong emotion. I do not usually see this in the long-term togetherness of married couples.

I am more willing to assign the term love to an intense, even burning, and quite possibly exclusive desire for another person.

One can engineer such feelings in women, and in oneself. Like so much in human life, it’s really just a matter of knowing the right tricks.

But do I really want love? In myself, and my partner?

My experience with women who love me has been that this can turn very messy. Women who love me do not want to share me with others. They demand a lot of attention and are suspicious of any free time I have. If there are reasons for jealousy, they may even turn quite violent.

If I feel that sensation of burning love, I have strong sexual urges directed to her. I can go many rounds, no Viagra needed, and orgasms are powerful. I will likely cut off other sexual relationships for lack of interest. And I may want her to love me, too.

If this can be engineered, isn’t that perfect?

Actually, it can be engineered, as a therapy, possibly with pharmacological aides, such as dopaminergics or butea superba, which can cause compulsive sexual behavior, and it can be pretty good, indeed. The downside is that I will go into a lot of commitment, financially and otherwise.

Because she will be possessive, I will not have many opportunities otherwise, not within the same country.

The challenge really is that I get out of this before she does. Because I do not want to be left with this burning love sensation towards a woman who is not available to me.

As for such a relationship of burning desire for each other being life-long...​ That is not a realistic perspective anyway.